A Psychologist’s Practical Guide for Dealing with Your Anxiety as a College Student
All new experiences come with some level of stress. After all, new experiences are unknown and often out of your control. Stress is our body’s and mind’s way of telling us: “Wait. Watch out. What is this? Make sure it’s safe. OK, proceed.” These feelings help protect us from doing dangerous things.
However, when stress gets too high, it can lead to anxiety, and we may lose our ability to function. If you’re having trouble going to school, socializing with friends or engaging in activities you previously enjoyed, it may be time to get help for your anxiety.
From my experience working with college students as a psychologist, the many changes you’re experiencing and the transition into adulthood will likely cause a great deal of stress. A survey conducted by Harvard University found that 36% of young adults (aged 18-25) reported anxiety, and 29% of young adults experienced depression — rates that were twice as high as teens. Many of those surveyed said they felt on edge, pressured to achieve, overwhelmed, directionless and lonely.
Clearly, college is a time when many experience high stress and anxiety, and it’s important to learn healthy ways to cope with anxiety in college before it causes you to lose your ability to attend classes, take care of yourself, and enjoy your life.
Why Do College Students Experience Anxiety?
College students experience anxiety for a variety of reasons. I’ve found the most common causes of the anxiety is rooted in the following experiences:
1.) Living away from home for the first time
It’s hard to learn to live on your own. Growing up, you had the support of family, who ensured you ate regular meals and got up in time for classes. Now, that’s up to you. You need to figure out how to do your own laundry, set an alarm (or three!) to wake up in time, and figure out what to eat and when. It’s a learning curve. You’re going to feel a bit stressed about it — and that’s normal!
2.) Social fatigue
It can be exhausting living with a roommate and in a college community. You might feel like you always need to be “on” 24/7. Perhaps you feel like you’re being watched and judged at all times or expected to “behave” a certain way. You may even be pushing your own social boundaries to the side and saying, “I have to go out” or “I can’t miss this” — even if your body or mind is telling you to take a break.
3.) New-ness
New experiences can be exciting, but they can also be scary — especially if you don’t have much experience with new things. Past experiences give us coping tools for dealing with new experiences, like starting a new school, making new friends, or tackling a new sport or activity. Many folks live in their comfort zone during their teens, though, which means the new-ness of college may hit you especially hard. You may not know how to handle it or cope with it!
How Do You Know If You’re Experiencing Anxiety in College?
Stress is normal, but if you find that you’re feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope with your day-to-day life at college, then you might be experiencing anxiety. Unlike depression, which is more inward and quiet, the experience of anxiety is generally overt and outward.
You may find yourself shaking, talking really fast or feeling like you’re going 100 miles an hour in every direction at once. You may have difficulty focusing in your classes or lose track of conversations with friends. You find it hard to make decisions or feel paralyzed by your to-do list. Anxiety can also manifest in your body with stomachaches, headaches or panic attacks when you feel like you can’t breathe or you may throw up.
These feelings can cause you to completely disconnect from your stressful environment by holing up in your dorm room and watching YouTube videos. On the other hand, some college students try to compensate for their anxiety by overdoing it socially or academically. Maybe you’re waking at 5 a.m. to work out, going to class all day, then partying until 2 a.m.
I’ll also note that one of the biggest signs that you’re dealing with anxiety is if you’re trying to cope with it in unhealthy ways — staying out late, using alcohol or other substances, eating fast food and pizza all the time, skipping classes, or sleeping during the day.
There are many different ways people can experience anxiety, and these are just some of them.
Psychologist-Recommended Tips for Coping with Anxiety in College
It’s important to learn how to cope with anxiety in college because anxiety spreads and grows. Anxiety feeds on itself. It doesn’t magically go away if you ignore it.
Instead, if you learn to cope with your anxiety in college, you will learn to balance social life, academics and self-care. You’ll learn the importance of eating healthy and getting a good night’s sleep (most nights). You will learn that healthy choices will allow you to give your best in your studies, work and social relationships — and, more importantly, feel proud, productive and accomplished. There's no greater gift than learning that life lesson. It’s not about always going to sleep early, and always studying. It’s about balance.
Here are my top tips for learning how to cope with anxiety while you’re in college:
1.) Find a therapist to talk about your feelings and learn new coping strategies.
You can seek out the support of mental health professionals by looking online for your school’s counseling center. You can schedule an appointment with a psychologist or therapist by calling or booking online. Before your appointment, you will be asked to fill out some forms so they can get to know you better. Working with a mental health professional is completely confidential — no one will know you go there. Your professors won’t know either. It’s a great option for college students.
Some students may seek therapy for anxiety outside of the university, especially if there is a long waitlist or a maximum number of sessions a student can have on campus. The best way to find a therapist or psychologist is to Google “therapist near me” or “anxiety therapist near me.” You can also ask friends or older students for recommendations. Your insurance company should have a list of mental health professionals you can search for support in your area.
Making the first call can be scary and intimidating, but it will feel so much better having set up the appointment. Most people say they instantly feel better after scheduling the appointment because they feel that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. If you meet with a therapist and don’t feel a connection, you can try someone different. Don’t forget you're never stuck. There are always options so just try to find the best person for you.
2.) Explore Cognitive Behavioral Therapy strategies to reframe your experiences.
As a psychologist, I use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help clients manage with their anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy offers the best evidence-based strategies for decreasing stress and anxiety.
With Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, you will learn ways to challenge negative or irrational thoughts and replace those thoughts with more neutral/positive and rational thoughts. For instance, you may need to tell yourself to “check the facts.” It’s common to develop a story in our minds that has no basis in evidence or facts. That’s why it’s important to ask yourself: What did I see? What did I hear? When you train yourself to check the facts in any situation, you can ensure your thoughts align with evidence and facts. Then, you can ignore the “maybe, could be, should, would be” stories in your head, because they’re not true.
3.) Prioritize self-care.
Go back to the basics in terms of taking care of yourself. Make your bed each day. Try to eat three healthy meals per day. Eat fresh fruits and veggies. Stay hydrated by drinking lots of water or water with electrolytes. Avoid food and drinks with dyes and minimize high-fat foods like fried food or pizza.
I also recommend that you set a routine and stick to it. Start by printing out your academic schedule and filling in the blank times with self-care, including going for walks, going to the gym, socializing, and going to the library to do homework or study. Keep that schedule up in your room where you can see it and follow it
4.) Practice mindfulness exercises, like deep breathing, meditation or calming techniques.
Even a few minutes of mindfulness exercises or meditation each day can help you cope with anxiety. You can download apps like Calm or Headspace for guided meditations and mindfulness exercises. Try doing one of the walking meditations while walking to class or a wind-down exercise before bed at night.
5.) Open up to friends or family about what you’re experiencing and ask for their support.
It’s important to tell your friends and family what you are feeling and experiencing — even if you don't want to scare them or make them feel bad. They won’t be scared or feel bad if you tell them. They will feel more scared if you DON’T tell them what you are experiencing. Your parents, family and friends just want to help you. If they don’t know what’s going on, they can’t help. So it’s best to tell them what's going on and ask for help when needed.
6.) Secure the accommodations or coaching you need to manage your anxiety in an academic setting.
Reach out to the school’s center for learning or the counseling center. If a mental health professional has already completed a psychological evaluation and provided you with a diagnosis, you can let them know that you are seeking classroom or testing accommodations based on your diagnosis and need.
They’ll likely schedule an appointment with you to discuss your needs. You can let them know that you have testing anxiety or trouble with focusing, and they can also help you with classroom accommodations, such as accessing the notes and making sure you can sit in the front of the room. They may also provide you with testing accommodations, such as a separate location to minimize distractions or extended time. The accommodations provided will be based on your current needs, so be sure to tell them what specific areas you are struggling with.
Psychologist-Recommended Tips for Parents with College Kids with Anxiety
My best advice for parents who are worried about their college-aged children is to be active listeners. If your child calls and tells you some negative information or complains about the food, shower or roommate, just listen!
Be a supportive ear. Be patient. Don’t jump to conclusions or offer suggestions immediately. Sometimes, your kid doesn’t need your advice immediately. They just need you to listen!
Here’s the way I coach my parenting therapy clients to support to their children when they call home from college:
Listen and don’t say anything.
Reflect back their emotions: “Oh, that sounds so stressful and overwhelming,” “You do have a lot on your plate,” or “That is a lot of hard classes.”
Validate and normalize their feelings: “I bet a lot of kids are feeling really stressed with all of the new changes right now,” “I would feel super nervous right now too,” “This is all totally new, and it’s so normal to feel scared and overwhelmed.”
Offer some small easy advice: “Take it day by day. This is new now, but remember when high school was new, and you thought the building was so big. Then by the first week, you could get to your classes with your eyes closed. Soon you will feel all settled and more comfortable, but I know it’s hard to get there”
Remind them of their support system: “I’m here for you. I’m only a phone call away. You can also call your other friends at different schools and tell them how you’re feeling and listen to their feelings too. You’re not alone.”
Would you like to get some support for your anxiety?
Therapy for Anxiety & Stress can help you build healthy coping strategies. At Insight Psychology Group, we love working with young adults in college and offer virtual therapy sessions you can do from campus. If you’re a student in or resident of Florida or New York, feel free to book a free consultation to see if we would be a good fit.